Written by: David Brown

A new line of vacuum cleaners has hit the market with a safety feature that automatically turns off the device if a penis is inserted. However, not everyone is happy with this new safety feature. “I’ve been putting my penis in vacuum cleaners for as long as I can remember, and it’s just something I enjoy doing, I don’t understand why they are implementing this ridiculous safety feature!

I never set the power to 100% so I don’t damage my penis.” said John Doe, a self-proclaimed vacuum cleaner enthusiast.

“This new safety feature takes away the fun and excitement of using a vacuum cleaner as a sex toy. I just don’t see the point in it. I specifically buy my vacuum cleaner with the intent to put my penis inside. How will I be able to do this in the future? I’m devastated.” John Doe continues.

He hopes the industry will take this into account and will give people the option to opt in on this feature. If not he will take legal action John claims.